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SEEKING HELP - EVALUATING THE COURSE OF THERAPY
Once you’ve selected a therapist, you can start your therapy on a trial
basis. Make a commitment to work with the therapist for a month, six
weeks, or some other limited time period; then reassess your choice.
How do you seem to be faring? How effective has the therapist been in
addressing your areas of concern? What is the therapist’s assessment of
your progress?
If the therapist you’ve selected turns out to have been a poor choice,
use the knowledge you’ve gained to make a better one. The wrong
therapist can do more harm than good. However, as you make your decision
about whether to continue with the therapist, bear in mind that the
course of therapy is not always smooth.
Backsliding, regression, and hostility on your part may all be part of
the process of personal growth. However, if you believe that the
therapist is actually doing you harm or that your prospects for progress
with this individual are very slim, you need to discuss these concerns
with the therapist. Then, depending on the outcome of your discussion,
you (and/or the therapist) might decide that you should be working with
someone else. Another instance where you might want to look for another therapist would be if the therapist is constantly blaming you for your own pain. Since you are human, you probably have made mistakes in your life and have areas where you need to grow. Your therapist may want to help you better understand these mistakes and problem areas. However, this should be done in a manner that respects your dignity and good intentions.
If the therapist is constantly chastising you and if, as a result of the
therapist’s statements or nonverbal reactions, you continually leave
sessions feeling more ashamed and unsure of yourself than before, it is
probably time to search for another therapist.
In the long-run, it is
ineffective for a therapist to try to change any of your problem areas
through guilt and shame.
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